Just need to say sorry to the man the was standing outside my door today. He knocked at least three or four times and rang the doorbell three times. Unfortunately, for him I have a strict policy on not opening the door to strangers when my husband is not home. He may have been a nice guy, but when Joel is not home I do not open the door to people I don't know.
Now, what is the policy on asking people for their phone numbers? I was standing in line at the post office yesterday and I met this totally nice women. I went at 4, so there was quite a line. I had Kyper with me. The women in front of me asked me how old Kyper was and I told her. She then proceeded to tell me that she had a three month old son--her first. We talked about how fast they grow and how the first couple weeks were crazy. She was so nice and I totally thought to myself "we could be friends--our kids are close to the same age, we are both married." But, I didn't have the guts to get her contact info. So, here is my question. How do people meet others when they don't have a church community, school or a job?
Here's the deal. Joel and I have quite a number of friends in the area from the last time we lived here. Except, that they all live at least 20 minutes away. We lived on the southside of Detroit last time and now we are on the north side. So, we don't have a lot of friends really close by. It would be nice to have a few that live closer. I am debating about going to a different church's coffee break or a closer MOPS group next year to meet some other people that live in the north suburbs of Detroit. We'll see once. The church I found and am thinking about, isn't actually that much closer than the one we go to now, but it is on the northside. (We love our church and we don't want to leave it completely. I'm actually applying to a job there.)
We did have some other DMU students over on Friday night that live very close. That was fun. The thing is Joel and I are the only married couple that moved to Detroit for rotations. Not that hanging out with single people isn't fun, it is just a little different. Also, the single students all sort of knew each other before. (Joel knew them, but we hung out with other couples in Des Moines, not single students.) Plus, they have had rotations with each other. This family practice rotation is the first time he has been with another DMU student. So, we finally got into the loop of what they have been doing. We had been invited to a movie with them, but seeing as Kyper is a little too old for movies now (he doesn't sleep that much anymore), we didn't want to find a babysitter, and it wasn't really in our budget, we didn't end up going. Therefore, we invited a few of them to dinner and played games at our house on Friday. Now, they know we live around and are willing to go out sometimes. Maybe we will have a few social events a little closer to home.
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5 comments:
Julie...I completely understand. It seems like since we have moved I live a pretty "decent" amount of time get to friends houses. I actually go to a MOPS group closer to my house and have had lots of fun finding new people even if I only see them at MOPS. I find that if you don't have the "guts" to ask for someone's info...you can always ask if they go to a play group or a story time at the library...just a thought. Even though Kyper is a little young to play in a play area at a mall...you can easily use that as a place to meet someone when you are to afraid to ask for info...then get to know people a little bit better and then you can go from there. :) I hope that helps...
I think it would be okay in a situation like that to say "would you like to meet up for coffee sometime?" I have a maybe too open attitude about strangers though. I regularly open the door for scammers "selling magazines" and mormons and stuff.
I'll have some of the same issues you're talking about when I'm done with grad school and move somewhere new with Justin. Maybe you'll have brilliant advice for us then!
I never open the door if Cam isn't home either. But now that we are moving into a new neighborhood, maybe I will once we meet some of the neighbors. I hide out if someone rings the doorbell now. I just don't feel comfortable doing it. So don't blame you one bit!
No advice on the strangers thing...haven't had that experience yet :)
There have been times I didn't open the door. We live in a small condo community and I know most of the people, but when Jerry isn't home and my car is out front-people know I'm home. But, it's better to be safe than sorry so don't feel bad. Sometimes I open it halfway or stand in the doorway. It helps we have a peep hole! I think don't be afraid to ask that lady her number or name and say that maybe it'd be fun to do a playdate or have coffee. If she's really not comfortable she won't tell you or she'll give you a fake number, or she just won't return your call if you call-so you have nothing to lose! I would say 20 minutes is not a bad distance at all from friends. We have gone through the distance issue with people 30-40 min. away where you don't just stop in. But, it can be so hard to make friends and it's nice to have them closer so why not visit another church and check it out of attend their mops or things sometime? If you like it better, it's okay to be more apart of your closer community. If it doesn't work, you don't have to wonder anymore, and if it does you can do both and eventually you'll make decisions or switch. The decision will be natural with time but you don't have to make it yet.
You should email me your address and I can find some contact info for one of our churches that is near you because I am sure they would have a playgroup/mom group that gets together that you could just join them for that and to get to know other moms (ours just meets once a week during the day so it's great if you are staying at home) and still go to the church that you and Joel like that is further away. Or you could go to lds.org and search for a meeting house by your address, but if you want me to get you the contact info for a playgroup I would definitely do that for you because playgroup is often what keeps me sane since SAA is kind of lame this year without you and everyone else there.
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